what an odd day

i'm not too sure how i feel about today.

it's my birthday (the big three-5) ... and about that, i'm thrilled. my thirties have been filled with more peace and confidence than in my twenties and i am extremely grateful for my family, friends and church.

i think what bothers me about this day is that someone has questioned my character ... the very essence as to who i am. and i gotta say, it really hurts. especially when it was an unfounded accusation impressed upon me because of that other person's fears. to which she has even admitted that, but it still bothers me. why? why does it hurt when someone has basically said that "i've known you for "this long", but don't trust you with "this"." since i have lived here in mn, i've tried to be trustworthy and an honorable person - my faith goes before me and i've thought of myself as having a heart for Christ even though my actions may not always represent it. this person has had a slight problem with the fact that i moved in with a man (now, my husband) and got pregnant before wedlock. i did not make any excuse for that, nor did i say that i was right in the eyes of God. in fact, i knew that it would have been best if i had done things differently, but i didn't. in it though, the big-MAN has worked things out for His glory. however, someone with whom i still have daily contact with (by necessity), still has a problem with it. this was unbeknownst to me until this morning and had i known this, i may not have laid myself so open to her.

thankfully, this is a blog that is not well-read - because this issue is so deep to me and i am so hurt by it. i know i haven't explained it well, but just getting what bit i have out has helped me to release a little sadness.

on a wonderful note, the

following picture is of my little man who gives me intense joy!