bridge, rock, library

my son is watching dora the explorer - dora and boots are singing "bridge, rock, library" over and over ...

things are going pretty good over here. i'm trying to decide whether or not i should accept a different job in a diff field ... i'm weighing all the pros/cons and yet i still don't have an answer. thankfully an answer is not required for a while.

am scheduled for breast reduction surgery on 9/23 ... i'm a little nervous about it - but am also anticipating a little less back pain. it's so funny that i can post about "breasts" without them being anything but utilitarian (that happens after childbirth/nursing). i think my husband gets a little embarrassed with the matter-of-fact way that i talk about them, but trust me, they are anything but sexy now.

kelly is coaching caymen's football league and they had their first scrimmage (i'm not sure what scrimmage means) on saturday - i loved being out there and watching my little family do something all together.

i haven't been to church in like, 3 or 4 weeks. i don't like that feeling. it seems as though sundays get bogged down with anticipation of the upcoming week and i don't take the time out to fellowship with friends. another thing that has changed is my dialogue (or monologue) with JC - in the past, i have spent most of my days quietly talking to Him even while working, etc. but lately it seems as though i am more focused on myself and surroundings without giving Him as much attention. i don't like that. not that He needs my attention, but i NEED that constant communication with Him.

today, i will be more conscious of my thoughts.

what an odd day

i'm not too sure how i feel about today.

it's my birthday (the big three-5) ... and about that, i'm thrilled. my thirties have been filled with more peace and confidence than in my twenties and i am extremely grateful for my family, friends and church.

i think what bothers me about this day is that someone has questioned my character ... the very essence as to who i am. and i gotta say, it really hurts. especially when it was an unfounded accusation impressed upon me because of that other person's fears. to which she has even admitted that, but it still bothers me. why? why does it hurt when someone has basically said that "i've known you for "this long", but don't trust you with "this"." since i have lived here in mn, i've tried to be trustworthy and an honorable person - my faith goes before me and i've thought of myself as having a heart for Christ even though my actions may not always represent it. this person has had a slight problem with the fact that i moved in with a man (now, my husband) and got pregnant before wedlock. i did not make any excuse for that, nor did i say that i was right in the eyes of God. in fact, i knew that it would have been best if i had done things differently, but i didn't. in it though, the big-MAN has worked things out for His glory. however, someone with whom i still have daily contact with (by necessity), still has a problem with it. this was unbeknownst to me until this morning and had i known this, i may not have laid myself so open to her.

thankfully, this is a blog that is not well-read - because this issue is so deep to me and i am so hurt by it. i know i haven't explained it well, but just getting what bit i have out has helped me to release a little sadness.

on a wonderful note, the

following picture is of my little man who gives me intense joy!